Are you having trouble in your relationships? You are not alone. Did you know that many other teenage girls are struggling with the same issue? Only you will not hear them talk about it. Why do you think this is so?
After speaking with many girls and hearing their stories, I have sensed a common thread. Can you guess what the common link is? If you guessed “self-confidence” you are correct!
Many girls struggle with “who they are” and “who they think they should be”; therefore they are looking for acceptance among friends, and especially among boyfriends. This is where the struggle takes place. Until you decide to be confident in yourself, you will always be looking for approval from others. The trouble here is that those you are seeking approval from, are struggling with their own issues of self-confidence. Oh…it may not appear that way to you, however, hidden under their outward appearance are teenagers who are struggling with low self-esteem.
The way to improve your relationships is to build your self-confidence. The way to do this, is to stop seeking approval from others and seek to be the best at “being you”. God designed you perfectly, with unique gifts and talents. When you seek to “be like others” you are going against the natural intelligence built into you! Seek to please God, not others and watch things around you change. At best you will be happier “being yourself” than you will ever be trying to “be who others want you to be”.
Seek after God’s approval, allow yourself to follow your own desires and watch and see that you will attract great friends, both girls and boys, to yourself. You will attract other confident young people who accept you and don’t want to change you. Then in these relationships you are free to be yourself; without worrying about the approval of others. I challenge you to put aside thoughts that “you have to be like the other girls”, and dare to be “yourself”. Dare to set the example of a “self-confident” young woman. Will you take the challenge?
wow! this is so true and could not have come at a more perfect time for me in my life right now. thank you
awesome article:) extremely helpful.
Wow. Very insightful. I’d like to see more bible verses. Even if they’re common ones. Thanks. Love your work.
God amazes me everyday. Just lastnight i prayed about this exact subject. I prayed He would give me answers… and He did just that! Thanks for this article. You truly have a gift!
It’s wonderful to see God at work, He is such a “personal” God. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Mojo, feel free to share some bible verses with us that you think are applicable, I would love to hear your ideas, and how you are applying what you are reading to God’s word.
Hi, Lucy Ann! I love that you posted this article. Thank you! For me, when someone
feels as though he or she has to change himself or herself just to be liked, that is dishonoring the natural way God designed you! And until a person can learn to accept the way God made him or her, he or she will have a difficult time not relying on others for their self-worth. God is awesome and holy and honorable.
Clarie, great to hear from you!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. It is a great sense of support when you girls share your thoughts and ideas with one another. Thanks for taking the time to reply
Awesome article!!!! still struggling with self confidence myself but slowly getting there. This article is one of the things that encourage me on my journey to total self-confidence. Thank you!! God bless!!!
Thanks so much, Lucy Ann for posting this. What you post is always so relevant, and this is no exception. Also, I really like what you said, Claire. Also very true.
Hey its great!!!!! Its nice to know I am not the only one.
I thought this article was really helpful and I will take of it to heart. Thanks
Hi! I am 13 and I have a “boyfriend” we dont “do” anything, but we definitely talk and hang out at our church. He’s really nice, but sometime I feel like its wrong for me to be going out with someone because I am only 13; but I dont want to stop. Can any of you girls give me advice, or you Lucy Anne? Thanks!!
Madi,
Thanks for asking for advice, that shows your heart wants to please God. “Dating” means different things to different people. 13 is rather young to have a “boyfriend”. It is easy to get your heart hurt when you are involved in a relationship, and it is so important for you to be sure to protect your heart. God’s word tells us “above all, guard your heart”. I like to recommend to girls your age, to have a group of friends, which may include boys, that you like to hang out with. Hanging out in group settings is a safe guard for you. At this stage in your life, I recommend that you spend more time working on your relationship with God, and discovering what desires are in your heart. Trust God to bring the right boyfriend across your path when the time is right for you. You can be friends without committing to a relationship. Once again this will help protect your heart and allow you to grow and mature to be in a position to handle a relationship.
Thanks Lucy! That really did help, but can I ask you one more thing? Well first, we all do hang out together and have fun. All of my friends and his. And we are really not into ANYTHING serious. But I just feel like he really likes me and I can’t just break up with him and then act like everything’s ok. I’m sorta in a very confusing situation. Please help! Thanks again!
Madi,
Suggestion…the two of you should have a talk about your relationship, perhaps you both will see that it would be best at this stage to stay good friends and not have the pressure of a “relationship”, that may very well end up hurting one or both of you. Friendship is still my recommended course of action.
Blessings
Wow. What I’ve been going through the whole time! I started doubting God’s power,as in why do I feel this way?Why aren’t I happy? It was really bad. Thank you so much! That’s what God was trying to tell me the whole time! “I have your solution!”